Awaiting transition phase

End of the year is around the corner, December is on its way, where it is time for gatherings, celebrations and parties.

I have had a few gatherings with my best friends and old friends in Ipoh before December is approaching. Spending some time of catching-up on how they are doing. It seems like everyone is doing great. Some graduated and found a good job, some get married, and me? Yeah, still with the same standard answer for almost 17 years, studying.

It feels like everybody enter a new phase of life and I am still on the same spot, not moving forward or backward. Only time that flies silently. Feeling depressed again. Does not know when I started to hate December. December is the month of self-pity and low self-esteem take control over me. It is torturing.

Everybody is changing. But I remain to be the same. It upsets me that there is nothing new in me. Feeling left out. Still like a child in the same circles of people, same environment. Trying to reach out but still trapped in rural area and among cheap people.

I can't wait to graduate soon. Then I can choose a city I prefer to live in, go through a life that I want, and bury this nightmare.

Waiting for an escalator to lift me up to a new phase of life.

Promises

Promises mean nothing for nowadays people.

"Promises are made to be broken."

This is the philosophy being applied by nowadays society.

For me, once the promises are made, I'll try my best to never break it. You know, once you made a promise, someone is expecting you to fulfill it. At least i did expecting that.

Am i being too naive? I guess I am. Sorry, I almost forgot to apply the philosophy i have mention just now.

I have this bunch of coursemates that applied the same philosophy too. So, every planning trips or events with them will end up with nothing. Thank God I able to realize this earliar, so i am expecting nothing on them. Our graduation's trip to Sabah just a lovely faraway dream. As expected, anyway.

A promise is a promise.

It is made to be fulfilled, not to be broken.

Chan Fong

He is someone who has inspires my point of view, taught me what a real life is, a man that has gained my respect. He is Chan Fong, my favourite DJ of all times. For the past few years, without fail, I turned on the radio on every Friday night, at 11.01pm just to listen to his program.

I still remember one of the callers, called-in and told him how she had been hurt by her boyfriend. Guess what did he answered?

“Being hurt is a process of life, it prove that you are a living person. Learned a lesson from it and you will get stronger”

Gosh, for a student in a secondary school like me at that time, I do not understand much about these sentences.

But as time flies, I have grown up to hurt someone and being hurt in returns, I knew what he meant at that time. Each time my heart hurts, reminds me that I am a living person.

He left the radio station a few years ago, since then I seldom turn on the radio. I came across his website one day, and he is still working on with his broadcasting stuff. I am so excited about it.

Just want to share his website here, www.chanfong.com , click on it and maybe you will fall in love with his program like I do.

Money Oh Money!

"Money can make wonders."

How true is this statement? I hate to admit this, but this statement is so true.

Being brought up in a very traditional Hakka family, from young, I am asked to work hard so that I can do well in my studies. What is the purpose behind this effort to do well? Money again rears its ugly head. By doing well in his/her studies, a person stands a better chance of getting a better paying job. Better paying means more money. More money means more happiness, or so we mistakenly assume.

My parents have a high expectation of their child. They put their hope and dream in us. Indirectly, it becomes a burden that we cannot bear. They wish we can have a better living. Better living means more money again?

Take my brother for example. He started his own business and my parents think it is not good enough. They want a roaring success in a short period of time. I understand that not everyone is going to be a roaring success. Most will not be so. Failure has becomes a dirty word for my brother, a condition that is considered shameful. So, the poor trapped soul struggles on trying his best to prove himself. He tries so hard to make a good living and forget to live. He does not enjoy his life anymore.

This brings a big impact to me. I no longer dare to persuade my dream as my dream does not make much money.

Money oh money. It can buy almost anything so much so we may think it can even buy happiness. People will only look up to us only if we have money. We become obsessed and enslaved by it.

Money, you took control of our lives. Congratulations.