End of the year is around the corner, December is on its way, where it is time for gatherings, celebrations and parties.
I have had a few gatherings with my best friends and old friends in Ipoh before December is approaching. Spending some time of catching-up on how they are doing. It seems like everyone is doing great. Some graduated and found a good job, some get married, and me? Yeah, still with the same standard answer for almost 17 years, studying.
It feels like everybody enter a new phase of life and I am still on the same spot, not moving forward or backward. Only time that flies silently. Feeling depressed again. Does not know when I started to hate December. December is the month of self-pity and low self-esteem take control over me. It is torturing.
Everybody is changing. But I remain to be the same. It upsets me that there is nothing new in me. Feeling left out. Still like a child in the same circles of people, same environment. Trying to reach out but still trapped in rural area and among cheap people.
I can't wait to graduate soon. Then I can choose a city I prefer to live in, go through a life that I want, and bury this nightmare.
Waiting for an escalator to lift me up to a new phase of life.
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